Dreams on a Budget

With the economy in shambles (or soon to be recovered, depending on who you ask) it’s not a surprise that we have started to cut things back in order to make ends meet at the end of the month (my ends actually met last month, and they really didn’t like each other). For example, Mitt Romney is now using folders instead of binders and has even reduced his illegal immigrant staff.

Of course, people have to make sacrifices and we also have to do our part. For example, a friend of mine used to run behind the bus in order to save 2 dollars on the way to work. Now he runs after a taxi to save 25 dollars.

   Good for your budget as long as you don’t catch it.

This budget-cutting mentality has affected me greatly. At first, I just took normal saving measurements. For example, I stopped buying and started shoplifting instead. But now, even my dreams are on a budget.

I discovered this strange phenomenon when I recently told a friend that I dreamed I had won the lottery and that I had bought the house of her dreams and I let her live there while she took all the time she needed to pay me for it. She was a bit upset. “Why the (expletive) didn’t you just give me the house if it was just a dream?”

Well, I analyzed it and realized that my dream was on a budget, and that even lottery jackpots have a limit on what they can buy. (Those pretty rural houses next to a river and surrounded by nature are pretty damn expensive.)

Anyway, here are some of my recent dreams that I discovered are also on a budget:

I was the general of a Russian tsarist army and had to defend against an invasion. I had a budget and had to decide what type of units to invest in. (This dream was probably sponsored by the video game Dai Senryaku VII. Play it. It’s awesome.)

I had a date with a coworker because the budget wasn’t big enough to bring in Jennifer Love Hewitt.

 No looking…no longer in the budget.

I wanted to fly to Japan, but I couldn’t afford it, so I had to stay home and watch Dragon Ball instead and I had pizza from Pizza Not-So-Hot instead of going to Italy.

This destination has been replaced by a food product.

Finally, I used to dream in colors, but now, in order to reduce costs, I dream in black and white. I have been warned that soon my dreams will have no audio, just some text between scenes.

Update: After writing this article, I dreamed about Jennifer Love Hewitt again, so there is hope.

When not busy mixing his whites with colors, Flippy works as a writer, translator, and language teacher. In his free time, he plays video games, takes photos, and writes funny stuff. You can find his role playing book for parents and bronies, Tiny Horsies, the RPG, published by Relentlessly Creative Books on Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Horsies-Role-Playing-Game/dp/0989540693.

©2013, all rights reserved
published with permission of the author

Want to read more? Read about how love stinks like pee. Or read about the dreams of plant life.