The Study on Studies

New York, NY, June 24th, 2013— Today, experts from the AMA published the results of a study showing that people will believe anything as long as you tell them that some experts conducted a study about it.

The study was carried out in several states, which names and number haven’t been specified. It was conducted with a sample of 3,1416 individuals. The margin of error was of +/- 3.1416%, with an arithmetic mean of 3, a standard deviation of 1, a frequency distribution of 4, a cumulative distribution of 1, and a variance of 6.

Study proves that boobs are fascinating

Study proves that boobs were big in 2009

The study also showed that people didn’t really care whether the experts who published the report were really experts, or whether the report was really published at all. The study also showed that people believe that any three random capital letters together stand for an important trustworthy organization.

Another interesting result of the study is that even when there has been a real study conducted about something, it’s usually a reporter who publishes the results, selecting those details that prove his views or those of the media he works for, and ignoring those that he doesn’t consider relevant or pertinent.

scatter-500x363 There’s a cluster of blue dots up there

Here are a few results of the study, handpicked for you:

99% of the time, the words “analysts, scientists, scholars, researchers or leaders” will have the same effect as “experts.” Similarly, the words “analysis, report, review, research or inquiry” will have the same effect as “study.”

78% of people can’t understand percentages, much less statistics. The other 23% don’t even bother checking that the numbers are correct.

95% of the people can’t remember the name of the person or institute that conducted the study after reading an article about it. The other 5% remember it as being conducted by Harvard, MIT, or some government agency.

37% of the people who read the article will repeat the information as a fact. The rest will mention it as true because “I read it somewhere.”

100% of the publishers don’t really care about informing, and will only publish studies with extravagant or scandalous reports that will sell.

flowchart-for-solving-stuff
Yeah, but can those other studies solve problems?

When not busy mixing his whites with colors, Flippy works as a writer, translator, and language teacher. In his free time, he plays video games, takes photos, and writes funny stuff. You can find his role playing book for parents and bronies, Tiny Horsies, the RPG, published by Relentlessly Creative Books on Amazon.com.

©2013, all rights reserved
published with permission of the author

Flippy is also into deep and sophisticated tastes, like My Little Pony and SimCity.

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