Too Much Information: What Not to Say on Social Media

Many people like to show and tell everyone every small thing they do, watch, eat, or have sex with on social media. As you can imagine, this can come back to bite you in the ass eventually.

Fortunately, as always, we at Unhinged Magazine are here to help you with some good advice about what type of things are NOT a good idea to post on social media.

4.  “Yeah, you can keep this $53,000 dollars item.”

Ok, this one is cheating because it was done through a text message.

The story starts in a pretty traditional way. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, boy proposes to girl and then boy decides to break up.

55 year old boy Louis K. Billittier Jr. met 38 year old Christa M. Clark and they started a relationship, and soon after, Louis knew in his heart that she was the woman he wanted to share the rest of his life with and proposed.

Unfortunately, the 14 month old relationship came to an end when Louis decided to break up with his former, which he did it in the classiest way possible: via text message. She replied back with a text message saying “you’re doing this through a text message?” Soon, messages were sent back and forth, and in the heat of the moment, Louis sent what is probably the most expensive text message in history (so far).

“Plus you get a $50,000 parting ring. Enough for a down payment on a house.”

Later on, he sued the ex in order to get the ring back, which Louis would have gotten otherwise if it weren’t for the fact that the judge ruled that the text message proved that the ring was a gift and not part of the marriage arrangement:

Alas, their prenup was not to be.

Morale of the story: Be a man and break up in person. And make sure there aren’t any cameras or recording equipment nearby.

 3. “I was drunk and the policemen didn’t notice.”

Colleen Cudney, a young girl from Michigan, had been arrested for drunk driving and had been ordered by a judge not to drink.

She was a few weeks short of the end of her probation, but alas, Saint Patrick’s Day arrived and the temptation to have a drink, or two, or three was too much and she decided she wasn’t going to miss the partying.

On the way home, very late at night, or rather, very early in the morning, she was stopped by a police officer who asked her to take a breath test. The girl somehow passed the test, thanked her lucky stars, reflected on her mistake and did the mature thing to do: brag about it on Facebook:

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You know your Facebook posts are bad when they are featured on the news.

Unfortunately for her and fortunately for society, a local officer saw her post and reported it to the police station. The next day, the probation officer called her and asked her to come for an urine test. The girl decided to prove that her judgment was as impaired when she was sober as when she was drunk and hung up on the officer, which immediately violated her probation terms and got her arrested again.

Moral of the story: Don’t drink and Facebook.

2. “My dad signed an confidentiality agreement and I want to share it with all you guys.”

So, there is this guy, Patrick Snay, who was told by Gulliver Preparatory, the high school he worked for that they weren’t going to renew his position as headmaster. He proceeded to sue the school on the grounds that he was discriminated against because of his age. Eventually, he and the school settled. He would get $10,000 in back pay and a settlement of $80,000.

There was one condition though. He had to keep the whole affair private.

Apparently, his teenage daughter had a different definition of “private” or “confidentiality agreement” than the rest of us and thought it meant “things you just have to share on Facebook,” which she, like, totally did, just four days after the settlement:

“Mama and Papa Snay won the case against Gulliver. Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer. SUCK IT.”

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Name: Dana Snay. Location: NOT Europe.

To be fair, Dana only wanted her close friends to know about it. To this day, she still wonders who of the 1,200 personal friends she has on Facebook, many of whom attend Gulliver, betrayed her and informed the school. The school lawyers were able to have the settlement thrown out of court soon after, despite the claims of Mr. Snay that his daughter did it because she had received psychological scars from the whole ordeal.

We tried to contact Dana for comment on Facebook and at the best hotels in Paris and London, but we weren’t able to find her.

Moral of the story: Don’t trust teenagers with things they can’t handle, like confidentiality agreements, alcohol or sex.

1. “I stole a car and I robbed a bank”

One fine day, 19 year old Hannah Sabata from Nebraska decided it would be a good day to steal a car and rob a bank. She managed to get away with it and normally this would have been your average girl-robs-bank-perfect-crime, if it weren’t for the actions of a meddling kid: herself.

After arriving home, criminal mastermind Hannah apparently decided to emulate the Riddler and leave clever clues about her crime in the form of a subtle Youtube video. In the video, she hints at her crime by doing drugs, showing the car keys, showing the package of money, and writing and showing ingenious riddles on camera, such as “I stole a car” and “Then I robbed a bank.” She was considerate enough to add subtitles on the video in case some people had trouble reading her handwriting, giving additional information such as how she robbed the bank and the description of the car.

When she posted the video on Youtube, she cunningly named it “Chick Bank robber.” We suspect that forgetting to capitalize the last word was the thing that gave her away.

You don’t have to take our word for it. You can watch the original video in all its glory, because apparently playing an episode of Dora the Explorer goes against the Youtube Terms of Service, but confessing about robbing a bank doesn’t.

To the surprise of no one but herself, Miss Sabata was arrested the next day at her home, where policemen found the car keys, the money, the drugs, and the car plates. A judge sentenced her to 10-20 years of prison.

Moral of the story: Appearances can be deceiving. Wait, what?

While we were doing research for this article, we learned a few things about Miss Sabata. She had suffered from mental illness since she was 9 years old and has been diagnosed with bipolarity and personality disorders and has to take medication.

At 17, she was released from a family and community support organization, and got AIDS from a carnival worker. While still in high school, she then got pregnant with another man who ended up in jail. Later on, she stopped taking her mental disorders and HIV medication, which resulted in her child being born HIV positive and being taken away by Health and Human Services. She was not able to get a job, and soon after, she committed her now infamous bank robbery.

The authorities were right in taking the baby away and she is still responsible for her actions. However, unlike what it seems at first glance, this is not the case of a person that displays the criminal genius of Team Rocket, but a person who is sick both physically and mentally.

But what do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

When not busy mixing his whites with colors, Flippy works as a writer, translator, and language teacher. In his free time, he plays video games, takes photos, and writes funny stuff. You can find his humor book, Flippy’s Life Lessons Stuff Every Single Man Should Know, published by Relentlessly Creative Books on Amazon.com.

Copyright 2017, Flippy. Published with the permission of the author.

Want to read more from Flippy? Check out his article about how to stay single forever.