Busting Child Criminals!

In today’s world, crime has been increasing to levels where you’re lucky to make it from your bed to your bathroom alive. Experts on crime, government authorities, and some responsible parents have noticed this problem and have decided to take action by getting at the root of the problem: children.

4. Five-year-old misses party and gets an invoice and a lawsuit threat.

A small boy in Southern United Kingdom was invited to a birthday party at the Plymouth Sky Slope and Snowboard Center, which he missed because he preferred to spend the day with his grandparents instead.

The next day, when the boy went back to the Torpoint Nursery and Infant School, he got a brown envelope with an invoice for 15.95 British pounds for not showing up at the party. Of course, the matter has gone to a higher court: the parents, and the mother who issued the invoice is threatening to take them to small claims court.

Really, can’t a 5-year-old show some maturity?

The Shakira concert was the most expensive part of the party.

The Shakira concert was the most expensive part of the party.

Source.

3. Ten-year-old suspended for making hand gun gesture.

In Milford, Massachusetts, a 10-year-old boy made a gun gesture with his hand and pretended to shoot two of his classmates. He then pretended to blow the tip of his finger to cool it off.

It’s disappointing to know that the school authorities only suspended the psychochild and allowed him to return. Who knows? He might have learned to pretend that his arm is a bazooka during that time. For some unexplained reason, the father of the child is taking his son to another school.

This event may explain the high rates of suicide.

This event may explain the high rates of suicide.

Source.

2. Arrest warrant issued to 9-year-old.

In Post Falls, Idaho, a 9-year-old criminal mastermind was caught stealing a pack of gum. Instead of having the parents pay for the gum or fining them, the prosecutor demanded that the child appear in court. The small scoundrel failed to show up twice because a) he was at school and b) his parents were working. But little did he know that the prosecutor would outsmart him by issuing an arrest warrant.

The criminal spent 3 days in the Juvenile Detention Center. That’ll teach him.

We haven't been able to confirm if he got the solitary confinement cell.

We haven’t been able to confirm if he got the solitary confinement cell.

Source.

1. British government wants to spy on terrorist toddlers.

The British government has shown once and for all that the US government is a sissy with terrorists by proposing a law that will ask teachers, nursery school staff and other providers of childcare for toddlers to report to the authorities any terror attitudes or phrases that 3- or 4-year-olds say. Apparently, phrases  such as “I no like it” or “what doing?,” obviously reflect that a child is questioning the system.

The 39-page consultation paper on the directive indicates that staff should have the training to identify children at risk of becoming terrorists and passing on this information to future schools. Frankly, I feel better knowing that by the time children enter grammar school, the terrorists have already been identified.

Knocking down blocks gets you in the black list.

Knocking down blocks gets you in the black list.

Source.

Ok, seriously now, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

Speaking of spying, Hollywood has been affected by it too.

When not busy mixing his whites with colors, Flippy works as a writer, translator, and language teacher. In his free time, he plays video games, takes photos, and writes funny stuff. You can find his humor book, Flippy’s Life Lessons Stuff Every Single Man Should Know, published by Relentlessly Creative Books on Amazon.com.

©2016, all rights reserved
published with the permission of the author

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