Hollywood Announces It’s Quitting Showbiz

Following North Korea’s hacking of Sony Pictures studio’s internal emails revealing scandalous communications between Hollywood’s most powerful and influential players and leading to the cancellation of the release of a major Hollywood holiday motion picture, Hollywood power brokers representing all branches of the entertainment industry announced today that they are officially shutting down all entertainment operations out of fear of further, deeper internet revelations.

“We simply feel that the internet is far too vulnerable to terrorist hacking to legitimize continuing entertainment content,” stated Jack Du Lopez, spokesman for the Hollywood entertainment industry. “While creating global entertainment is historically vital and critical, recent events have established that entertaining humans through film and television, or frankly any other medium, is simply too risky to continue pursuing by powerful and important entertainment executives and celebrities.”

Old sign being taken down.

Old sign being taken down.

Du Lopez continued, elaborating that, when it comes to the private email communications of Hollywood’s most powerful and influential brokers, “No level or matter of popular entertainment can compensate for the clear risk of terroristic revelations of private emails between extraordinarily-powerful and globally important entertainment figures.”

Du Lopez concluded by stating that “the often shallow, snarky, back-stabbing, manipulative, egomaniacal internet exchanges between pathologically insecure and developmentally-arrested, ignorant, and offensive entertainment power brokers must be protected. The recent events at Sony Pictures have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that the privacy of developmentally-arrested, sanctimonious, and borderline sociopathic entertainment industry power brokers can not be guaranteed, and so there can be no continuation of ‘business as usual’ in terms of quality entertainment content production.”

New Sign

New Sign is Up.

Responding to the announcement, the public at large – struggling with profound daily economic and social challenges – shrugged.

Author Don Holley is the writer and couch potato for Couch Potato Productions since June, 1984. He lives in the San Francisco Bay area where he composes pearls of wit and wisdom. Specializing in tight, lean, spare dialogue and humor with emphasis on lampoon and satire, he has the unique ability to write double-sided manuscripts on MacBook Pro. Unremarkably, he possesses the psychic power to look into people’s glove compartments, can speak 36 different amphibian languages, coined the expression “Cray-Cray” and can fly without flapping arms. All praise to you Don Holley. We welcome you to Unhinged Magazine now that Hollywood is dead. Read more of his work here: https://www.linkedin.com/today/author/176583852

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