The Types of Facebookers

Yes, yet another article on my “what I learned by wasting time on social media” series. This time, I’m here to talk about the types of Facebookers that I’ve met.

1. The Silent

This one friended you a long time ago and you have never heard of him or her again. There is nothing much to say about this Facebooker, just like his posts.

facebook empty account


2. The Too-Much Information

You’ll know where this Facebooker was, at what time, what he ate, who he was with, and what color of underwear he was wearing. Expect plenty of photos.

too much information on facebook

We really didn’t want to know that.

3. The Activist

This Facebooker is always posting uplifting messages or supporting a good cause (or more). If only he gave more dollars and fewer “likes” to these causes.

good causes likes facebook

Clickitivism in action.

4. The Gamer

This Facebooker spends his or her life playing whatever Candy Crushish game is the most popular at the moment. Expect invitations, many invitations.

candy crush invitations facebook

You have 23 Facebook notifications.

5. The Pet Lover

There are people who like pets. Then there are people who love pets. And then there are people who worship their pets and their Facebook page is their altar.

facebook cats pets

Today, Bella and Chloe had a fight. Unfortunately, this unnerved Lucy, Oliver, and at least another 13 of my babies.

6. The Joker

No, this Facebooker is not the Batman’s arch-nemesis. This Facebooker will post every meme and joke that he runs across, whether it’s actually funny or not.

funny posts on facebook

Sometimes, the poster is the joke.

7. The Ambiguous Drama Queen

This Facebooker will post passive aggressive comments that he or she shares with everybody, but we all know who they’re aimed at.

Facebook drama queen

Sometimes, it’s better than a Mexican soap opera.

Did I miss any? Mention those in the comments. Also, share this on Facebook and tag your friends that fall in these categories.

When not busy mixing his whites with colors, Flippy works as a writer, translator, and language teacher. In his free time, he plays video games, takes photos, and writes funny stuff. You can find his humor book, Flippy’s Life Lessons Stuff Every Single Man Should Know, published by Relentlessly Creative Books on

©2015, all rights reserved
published with permission from the author

Wanna read more? Check out Flippy’s article on how anime thinks the world works. Or read a bit of funny science fiction from guest writer Stephen Faulkner.