Big Bird Excited to Move to HBO

Mitt Romney got his wish. PBS kicked off Sesame Street. Elmo’s not tickled about it but Big Bird is. We caught up with his yellowness to get his take:

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Stan Silliman: Mr. Bird, I hear you’re moving. Are you looking forward to it?
Big Bird: Damn straight, fuck yeah! I’m free, man. I can say whatever shit I want. PBS had like all these censors plus they don’t pay anything like these cable giants.

SS: So you see it as new ball game. How did the other Muppets take it?
BB: Well, y’know Grouch is gonna be grouchy. Cookie was bitchin’ until he saw all the rad cookies they had at HBO. Cookie loves him some “special” brownies.

SS: What about Bert and Ernie? Does this change anything for them? Are they going to be able to be their true selves?
BB: Hell yeah! Gay marriage is legal, hadn’t you heard? No freaking cake maker can deny them a gay cake and I’m eating some of that damn cake and we’re toasting their wedding.


Brought to you by the seven colors of the rainbow.

SS: So it’s all going to be out the open on HBO? No hiding? What about Kermit? He’s green and all that. Is he okay with Bert and Ernie tying the knot?
BB: The frog? Hell yeah! He was always cool. He’ll be Best Frog.

SS: So what do think Mitt will say when he watches the new HBO Sesame Street?
BB: Who cares? Screw him and his magic underwear. Mitt can bite my gigantic bird ass. I’m rolling it and rolling in the dough. If he comes anywhere near here I’ll beak him and his 1% a new one.

SS: How ‘bout Miss Piggy? Is she down with the move?
BB: That primadonna! I don’t think so. I told Kermit to dump her little pig ass. He will listen to me. She’s a pig, man!! A P-I-G!! If she ends up bacon, it won’t be too soon.

The Muppets. Kermit the Frog has a new girlfriend, Denise, after splitting from long term love Miss Piggy. Pictured Kermit and Denise who is his new girlfriend Image grab from internet - for Nikki

Kermit didn’t lose any time replacing Miss Piggy.

SS: Sounds like it’s going to be a new Sesame Street. The kids are going to get a real education.
BB: Spread the word. We’re going to be baked and ready. And if the folks don’t like it they know where they can shoot Mr. Underpants.

Norman, Oklahoma comedian and author, Stan Silliman, wrote eight cartoon humor books including “The News in Double Dactyls” awarded the Best Book of Poetry 2002 by Oklahoma Federation of Writers. He was named “Oklahoma City’s Funniest Person” in 2014 Stan wrote over 1400 jokes to win the on-line “Kwipster” contest in 2011 for topical joke writing. Check out his website: Silliman on Sports – a new sports and humor column.

©2015 all rights reserved, published with the author’s permission.

Don’t go back to your regular day. Read why Indians have to be proud these days. Or read some interesting facts about Elvis Presley, also from guest writer Stan Silliman.