The Coyote Writes an Amazon Review

Coyote Catapult

The product in question.

I bought the 2000X-16B catapult about a month ago after seeing it on a page about contraptions used to catch roadrunners. I must say that I was very disappointed with my purchase and I decided to return it. I hope your X-23 Rocket Dispatcher which I bought with the refund will perform better, but I digress.

I’ll mark each category with a number of stars with 5 being the best and 1 the worst.

Price ***** For the price you’re paying, you are getting a huge item. I was impressed when I saw the box. The parts were not only big, but heavy, sturdy and resistant.

Quality***** The catapult and their parts are made with materials of excellent quality. They received a lot of punishment, just like my bones, and they still retained their elasticity. Even when I loaded the catapult with giant 500 kgs boulders, the catapult didn’t break.

Delivery ***** Delivery was ridiculously fast. It took barely a few seconds for the catapult to arrive after I placed my order and put it in my mailbox. The catapult arrived even before the mailman did! Talk about fast service!

Assembly ** I’m afraid this is where the stars start (get it?) to go down. The catapult came with a complex blueprint and no tools. I’m a super genius with tons of experience assembling traps and contraptions and it still took me a good part of the day to get it in one piece.

Functionality * Despite the other good points that I’ve already mentioned, this is what makes the 2000X-16B an item to avoid. It is absolutely unreliable and rarely works in the way it’s intended. The first time I used it, the boulder wasn’t ejected as intended, but it just slid off and fell ON ME! I then stood in front of the catapult and the boulder didn’t fly off, but sprang forward ON ME! Next I stood out of it’s way, but this time it was the FREAKIN’ CATAPULT that flipped over and guess who it fell on. Still giving Acme a chance, I triggered the catapult from the side and this time, the boulder did fly… upwards… and then fell on ON ME! Seeing that standing beside it wasn’t safe, I tried activating the catapult from underneath, which caused it to collapse, crushing me. I finally tried from a manhole, but the thing got stuck. I was trying to unblock it but then it shot the boulder, with me on it, making me go through the tip of a mountain and trusting me against some power lines which sprang me back to the catapult which smashed me on the ground AND then dropped the boulder ON ME!

I would have returned this sooner but I was in the hospital. Definitely stay away from this.

Coyote Fail

The Coyote still keeps inspiring people everywhere.

When not busy mixing his whites with colors, Flippy works as a writer, translator, and language teacher. In his free time, he plays video games, takes photos, and writes funny stuff. You can find his humor book, Flippy’s Life Lessons Stuff Every Single Man Should Know, published by Relentlessly Creative Books on Amazon.com.

©2016, all rights reserved
published with the permission of the author