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A Bullfrog and a Butterfly

A bullfrog and a butterfly both chanced upon each other.

‘My dear, you are an ugly beast!’ the bullfrog dared to utter.

‘Why froggy,’ gasped the butterfly, astounded by his words.

‘My beauty is unparallel while yours is so absurd!’

‘Ha – ha! Ho – ho!’ laughed froggy so, and with a knowing look,

began to tell the butterfly about a guy called Chuck.

His name was really Annabella, a princess not a common fella.

The fairest in the fairest land, with skin of silk and hair of sand.

‘This princess had a Stepmom, queer,’ whispered froggy in old butty’s ear.

She was in fact a wicked witch, who once threw Anna down a ditch,

And with a hocus – pocus spell turned Anna into a frog as well.

Then leaving on her horse and broom she bode poor Anna a life of gloom.

To which the girl did not respond, instead she went and found a pond,

And there she stayed alone and blue and ribbit-ed like froggies do.

Until one day a handsome prince called out towards his squire Vince,

‘Young lad remove me from this saddle so I can yonder off and paddle.

And so the squire did as was told and copped the Prince a mighty hold,

Allowing him as Princes are, to paddle eating caviar.

‘Oh woe is me!’ the prince spat out. ‘This caviar has got no clout.

It’s only good enough for Ted. The dog I left at home in bed.’

‘What I need is some tasty meat, cuisses de grenoville – a frog to eat.’

Just then, not hearing what was said, poor Anna popped up and ribbit-ed.

‘Please save me from this rotten hell. A kiss is what will break this spell.’

But Anna’s words fell on deaf ears and left her very close to tears.

For Princey in his Royal haste swept Anna up to have a taste,

And there above his hairy lips, Anna dangled from his fingertips.

‘Goodbye you glumptious grotty frog, prepare to go inside my gob.’

But Anna, being quick as quick, knew something of a party trick.

And stretching in a ballet pose she swiftly bit off half his nose.

‘Oh sacre bleu!’ the Prince spat out. ‘This creatures eaten half my snout.

My handsome hooters all but gone! A prince without a schnauzers wrong.’

Young Vince, his squire had up till now, been watching like a dozy Cow.

When suddenly, with one big volley, he knocked poor Anna off her trolley.

‘Take that!’ you nasty noshing frog. He said, as Anna hit a log.

‘No froggies gonna eat my mate,’ he parried, getting quite irate

And ending with a little flurry, like Ali, only in a hurry.

The wicked spell was somehow broke, and Anna not a froggy spoke.

‘Oh what a simply horrid guy you are to make a Princess cry.

For Princess that is what I am and not some froggy from Japan.

My wicked stepmom cast a spell and wished that I would rot in hell.

But luck is luck and who would knows, by chomping on your boss’s nose,

I’d once again be Annabella. A Princess not a froggy fella.

The moral, and I’m sure I’m right, is goodness always comes out right.’

The words that prissy Princess spoke, did nothing for that Princey bloke,

For having lost his Royal beak, he had no time for moral speak.

Instead he took his vorpal sword and snicker snacked the lousy broad,

Displaying as he liked to do, the courage of his ‘derring- do!

Wayne Riley was born in God’s own county, Yorkshire. The 70s, sensational for long hair down to your flares, also gave Wayne his first writing experience, a short, hand-penciled story about the adventures of the -Six Million Dollar Man-, and the dream of becoming a published author. Skip ahead to the 21st century. A chance meeting and a year later, Wayne’s dream became a reality, although his editor continues to encourage Wayne to give it up and open a small boutique for the hard of paying.

I Softly Went a Huntin’” is his first collection of whimsical short stories and nonsense poems aimed at the child lurking inside of every grown up.