Famous Songs Rewritten for 2016 Values

We all have a favorite song that we adore and that we like to replay in our heads over and over, specially when someone starts to talk about the cute things their children do. But have you stopped and thought of the feelings that might be hurt? This is why I decided to embark in the quest to update classic and famous songs and adjust them for 2016 values.

POC Holiday, by Bing Crosby.

(to the tune of White Christmas)

I’m dreaming of a P-O-C Holiday,
Just like the ones we’ve never known.
Where there’s no more dissin’
And children listen
To hear praises for their work.

I’m dreaming of a P-O-C Holiday
With every tumblr post I write,
May your feelings be cared for and nice,
And may all your Holidays be right.

eman2

It’s the season to drink Coke.

We Are the Participants, by Queen.

(To the tune of  We Are the Champions)

I’ve shown up,
Time after time.
I’ve done my effort,
But committed no time.
I’ve made mistakes,
I’ve cried too,
I’ve had my mom tell me that I am the best
So I should not lose.

(And I need just woe on and on, and on, and on.)

We are the participants, my friend.
And we’ll keep on trying ’til the end.
We are the participants,
We are the participants,
No one’s a loser,
‘Cause we are the participants of the world.

you-tried-trophy-640x534

I still get a share of Facebook even if the article isn’t funny, right?

Like a Free Girl, by Madonna

(To the tune of Like a Virgin, by Madonna)

I made it through the patriarchy.
Somehow I made it through.
Didn’t know how oppressed I was
Until I saw Youtube.

I was naive,
and deceived.
Then I knew, I was strong and true.
All my cats agree,
Yeah, my cats all agree I am
Independent too.

Hoo, like a free girl.
Empowered for the very first time.
Like a free girl.
When I eat chips,
And drink cheap wine.

cats1

My family looks up to me.

Safe Space, by the Village People

(To the tune of YMCA)

Young person, there’s no need to feel down.
I said, young person, let’s get some people banned.
I said, young person, ’cause you’re in a new town.
There’s a right for you to be so happy.

Young person, there’s a place you can go.
I said, young person, when you’re triggered and hurt.
You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find,
Many “yes” friends and a good time.

It’s fun to stay at your Own Safe Space.
It’s fun to stay at your Own Safe Space.
They have everything for children to enjoy,
They have plushies and colorful stuff.

It’s fun to stay at your Own Safe Space.
It’s fun to stay at your Own Safe Space.

my_cat_is_a_brony_by_spitfire_comics-d4mgt2o

Quiz: Brony room or safe space?

Overoffended, by Britney Spears

(To the tune of Overprotected)

Say hello to the person that I am.
You’re all going to see through my perspective.
I don’t make any mistakes, just accept who I am.
Or otherwise I’ll be so damn offended.

There must not be another way,
‘Cause I don’t believe in other stances.
But who are you to say,
What a girl is to do?
God, I need some warnings.

What am I to do with my life?
(You WILL find out, don’t worry)
How are you supposed to know what’s right?
(You’ll just have to do it my way)
I can’t help the way I feel.
But my life has been so overoffended.

crocker2007

That’s offensive to Britney!

When not busy mixing his whites with colors, Flippy works as a writer, translator, and language teacher. In his free time, he plays video games, takes photos, and writes funny stuff. You can find his humor book, Flippy’s Life Lessons Stuff Every Single Man Should Know, published by Relentlessly Creative Books on Amazon.com.

©2016, all rights reserved
published with the permission of the author

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