How to Get a Job: Millennial Edition

It’s hard for a Millennial to get a job. Competition is strong so employers can demand you to have a Master’s Degree and two Doctorates, fluency in five languages, and 17 years of experience in the industry for a job where you’ll enter numbers in a worksheet.

Still, there is no reason to make getting a job harder than it already is, so here’s yet another of my oh-so-helpful guides: How to Get a Job, Millennial Edition.

1. Study something that is actually demanded

I get it. You are really into ancient Chinese dynasties, contemporary dance, or Harry Potter fanfics, but majoring in those or similar studies is going to make it a tiny bit harder for you to be taken seriously by a potential employer.

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And here you thought I was just kidding.

2. Do not mention any “-isms” that you support

If they ask about what you do in your free time, hobbies are the way to go, such as going dancing, swimming, or walking your dog. If they say “tell me about yourself,” talk about your studies, travels, and experience. Do not start any phrase with “I spread awareness about _____________” or talk about how eating eggs and cheese is blatant murder.

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And don’t wear something like this to the interview.

3. Dress for a job interview

Maybe everyone who already works at the place dressed like they’re going hiking, to a night club, or to apply for welfare. You still have to dress appropriately and not assume that you can go “looking like you’re already working there.”

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“Sexual attire” is, surprisingly, bad for job interviews.

4. For the love of God, clean up your posts on Facebook

And other social media as well. A few keystrokes and your potential employer will see how you bad-mouth your ex, party hard on Wednesday morning, or disregard grammar.

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Assistant Finance Manager by day, Cute Puppy by night.

6. Do not get “creative” with your résume

In other words, do not send something like this:

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Unemployment is Magic!

When not busy mixing his whites with colors, Flippy works as a writer, translator, and language teacher. In his free time, he plays video games, takes photos, and writes funny stuff. You can find his role playing book for parents and bronies, Tiny Horsies, the RPG, published by Relentlessly Creative Books on Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Horsies-Role-Playing-Game/dp/0989540693.

©2016, all rights reserved
published with permission of the author

For more of Flippy’s insightful guides, check out how he thinks the world works in Telenovelas.

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