How to Make Your Restaurant Not Suck

Going to a restaurant should be a pleasant experience, but sometimes, it is not. Based on my own experience. Here are some egregious examples of such situations.

1. Do not watch a movie and make everybody listen to it

This one happened to me. The owner of the restaurant was watching a movie in his computer. I could barely see the little screen but I knew he was watching some action movie. How did I know that? Because he had connected his computer to the sound system of the restaurant and everyone could hear the gunshots and the explosions loud and clear. When we complained to the waiter, the owner lowered the sound of the movie… a bit.

Just you, me, and the explosions and dialog of Independence Day.

2. Do not ask your customers to provide change for their bill

This was an embarrassing and uncomfortable moment. At the end of the meal, we asked for the bill. We paid with a bill that was bigger than the mount of money needed. We were waiting for our change when the owner himself came to us and in front of everybody else, he demanded we paid with change.

In the confusion and embarrassment, we did search for change. However, we have never gone back and we let everyone know they should avoid the place. I’d leave a bad review on their website or Facebook page, but they don’t have one.

Maybe get one of these?

3. Don’t nickel and dime, specially without letting customers know

Ok, so we went to this restaurant where they had a special, where you chose two main dishes and some extras. During the meal, the service was great. The waitress was very polite and she asked us if we wanted bread and water and dressings for the salad, things like that. Then at the end of the meal, we found out we had to pay for all these little extra charges. It wasn’t much and we would have agreed to pay for them, IF THEY HAD LET US KNOW.

“Charge them for the mice, extra for the lice…”

4. Don’t make your clients sick

This has happened twice in two different restaurants. I went with a friend to eat at a burger place. I had a vegetarian hamburger but my friend had a regular one. The poor thing got very sick with heavy diarrhea and had to take a couple of days off. Months later, we went for pizza, and again she got very sick. We think it was because she ordered a different type of pizza. Or maybe I just bring her bad luck.

In any case, do not food poison your customers. That kinda makes them not want to eat at your place anymore.

Worst review ever!

When not busy mixing his whites with colors, Flippy works as a writer, translator, and language teacher. In his free time, he plays video games, takes photos, and writes funny stuff. You can find his humor book, Flippy’s Life Lessons Stuff Every Single Man Should Know, published by Relentlessly Creative Books on

Copyright 2017, published with permission of the author.