How to Ruin a Relationship

Say you found your special someone and you are now in a happy relationship. You might think it’s time to work it out into something more stable, but you’d be so wrong. If romantic comedies have taught us something, it’s that after a few dates, it’s time to go through a major conflict that should make you and your partner question if you’re with the right person. If you need some ideas about how to create conflict, we’re here to help you.

1. Start flirting with an old flame

There is nothing more conducting to a long and healthy relationship that acting on old feelings that you have for someone else. Bonus points if you flirt with someone that you shouldn’t be with even if you were single.

Bridget Jones shows how it’s done.

2. Go out to expensive places that you won’t be afford to pay for on a long term basis

Don’t go to a bar or for a cup of coffee for your second or third date. You’re trying to impress someone, dammit! If you’re a guy, take her to a romantic date at a fancy restaurant with a city view. Maybe rent a limousine. If you’re a girl, you can do your part too. Get a new dress, fancy jewels, and maybe a boob job.

Nothing but the best for the love of my next couple of weeks.

3. Bring up your ex in every date

Nothing says “You’re unique and I want to know you” more than talking about how your ex was so wonderful/evil/indifferent/gorgeous/ugly. Do not hesitate about mentioning specific events or anecdotes to prove your point. Details are important. Bring photos or prepare a Powerpoint presentation if you can.

Feel free to compare body parts.

4. Keep hammering about how you are strong and independent

Nothing attracts a person and makes him or her feel needed than saying you don’t need anyone. If you have a Facebook account, make sure to post about how if they can’t take you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best. Also, share photos of your cats and talk about the cute things they do.

When you already have more than enough love in your life.

5. Be extremely jealous and controlling

In the past, you had to call someone at their home or work to know where they were. Today’s technology gives a whole array of social media sites and applications to stalk and control your special someone. See who he or she likes, know whether he or she saw your message, and more importantly, who liked his or her posts.

A much needed feature.

When not busy mixing his whites with colors, Flippy works as a writer, translator, and language teacher. In his free time, he plays video games, takes photos, and writes funny stuff. You can find his humor book, Flippy’s Life Lessons Stuff Every Single Man Should Know, published by Relentlessly Creative Books on Amazon.com.

Copyright 2017, published with permission of the author.

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