The King

“Oh, Jeezie, that was wonderful! I mean just really, truly, mind-blowingly, incredibly wonderful! Some girls I know have called you the king of… of…. I don’t know and really don’t care what anyone else calls you or says about you. You are just the King, that’s all!”

“Why, thank yuh, Ma’am. Thank yuh veruh much.”

“Huh? What the hell was….? Oh, I get it. Elvis, the king of rock ‘n’ roll. Cute; very clever. But I wasn’t talking about one king, Jeezie; I meant you were the King. Don’t you get what I’m saying?”

“King? Oh, you mean like, “’A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!’”

“Jeezie, listen to me! Not just any king. You are my only king, you are the only KING. Do you get it now?”

“Whoa! Just wait a minute right there, baby. The name ain’t ‘Jeezie.’ I told you a hundred times and I mean it. My name is Jessemiah. You can call me Jess or Jessie but cut it out with all this Jeezie stuff, okay?”

“Okay Jeez…. I mean Jessie. But, Jesus, really…. You don’t have to go and get so worked up about it.”

“Sorry about that, honey. But, you know, the king has his prerogatives and all, you know.”

“Huh? The what did you say?”

“I said that the king….”

“What the hell are you talking about, king? You aren’t a king of anything anymore in my book, darlin’. Damn! Tell a guy one nice thing and he just blows it all out of proportion!

“But, baby, I just….”

“I tell you Jessie, you sure do have one monster of an ego there. I mean, just listen to yourself. King? Ha! What a laugh!”

“But, baby-darlin’, you just said before that I was….”

“Was, sweetheart. That’s the operative word here. Was! And that’s all there is to it. Now where’s my purse? I’ve got an audition for a baby powder commercial in about an hour and I don’t want to be late.”


“Taah, darling!”

By Stephen Faulkner who is just a regular guy who likes to take apart the world and put it back together in amusing ways. He is looking for people who share his singular style and sense of humor. Steve lives in Decatur, Georgia with his wife and five cats.

©2018, all rights reserved
published with the permission of the author

If you want to read Stephen’s strange story about Ken and his name, go here.