Tweaking Language Mar04

Tweaking Language

This week, I learned that apparently a cartoon series for girls is racist, that there was a war on Wikipedia about the gender of Garfield, and that Cardiff Metropolitan University banned words such as manpower and girls. This trend is going to continue. So, I’ve decided to help universities, writers, movie makers, and other creators make some more changes to the language and some titles of known works in order to avoid offending someone’s feelings. And if you’re one of them reading this, you’re welcome. I’ve even put them into nice little categories for easy classification: Everyday Phrases An arm and a leg...

How to Prepare for the Presidential Inauguration Jan18

How to Prepare for t...

1.  Write a letter to your Senators and Congressman Urge them to continue to do what they’re doing, because that certainly seems to be working. 2.  Urge sensible Republicans, who are good, upstanding people, and who believe in real conservative values, to make a stand if they don’t agree with...

The Real War on Christmas Dec19

The Real War on Christmas

If you’ve heard the news this season, or any Christmas season, I’m sure that you’ve heard about the war on Christmas. Each year, there is a battle and Christmas wins it every time. At least that’s what I assume since Christmas continues to exist. But no more, it’s time to get serious and  win not only the battle, but the war on Christmas once and for all. And here it’s how my plan on how to achieve total victory: 1. Build a wall around the North Pole and make Santa pay for it Yes, that’s right. It’s time to put an obstacle to that fat bastard so that he stays away once and for all. It’ll be a good wall, a long wall, a great wall, a wall...

How to Get a Job: Millennial Edition Dec11

How to Get a Job: Millennial Edition

It’s hard for a Millennial to get a job. Competition is strong so employers can demand you to have a Master’s Degree and two Doctorates, fluency in five languages, and 17 years of experience in the industry for a job where you’ll enter numbers in a worksheet. Still, there is no reason to make getting a job harder than it already is, so here’s yet another of my oh-so-helpful guides: How to Get a Job, Millennial Edition. 1. Study something that is actually demanded I get it. You are really into ancient Chinese dynasties, contemporary dance, or Harry Potter fanfics, but majoring in those or similar studies is going to make it a tiny bit harder...

The World According to Telenovelas Dec05

The World According ...

I already wrote about how the world works according to Hollywood and Anime. Today, I’m going to take a look at Telemundo and Mexican Telenovelas, since they appear to have their own rules of how things work. 1. Poor girls look like super models. The average low class Mexican girl has...

There’s a Museum for That Nov20

There’s a Museum for That

My wife and I recently traveled to upstate New York. Along the way we decided to visit a few museums. First we stopped at the Jell-O Gallery Museum because there is always room for a Jell-O tour in your itinerary. At the gallery we were given a guided tour through Jell-O history. Although I am a history buff, this tested my limits. However, I did learn that the dessert’s main ingredient is gelatin which is made by boiling the connective tissue, bones and skin from cows and pigs. Yummy. It’s surprising that there is an entire museum dedicated to this one jiggly dessert. But there is. My wife had been wanting to go there thinking there would...

News You’ll Never See. Oct23

News You’ll Never See.

These last months there has been a certain event in the news that most people are tired of and would like not to hear about anymore. That’s not what this article is about. This article is about the news that you will never, ever see. 1. Woman Tells Husband: “We Need to Talk.” Housewife Mary Green, 34, of Aurora, New York told her husband, Steward Green, that she thinks she has been spending too much and neglecting her husband in bed. “It just came to me one day. I don’t need another dress or a new pair of shoes. My husband works so hard to earn money and it shouldn’t be spend in frivolities. Also, I think...

THE PINOCCHIO PANDEMIC Aug21

THE PINOCCHIO PANDEMIC

An aberrant virus has arrived on Earth. This disease was airborne and extremely contagious. When a human’s brain was activated as that person articulated a lie, the virus was aroused and quickly multiplied. Its target, the liar’s nose, now infected, became elongated, slowly or speedily, depending upon the depth of the deception. No other part of the body was affected. The researcher who first discovered the virus christened it, The Pinocchio Virus. Soon mankind was infected and afflicted. During its first months here, the virus’s spread was slow. Missing cookies added a small bump to the tip of Little Johnny’s nose. The corrective his...

Fabio in the Fast Lane Mar27

Fabio in the Fast La...

Guess what? Harlequin Romance is teaming up with NASCAR to bring out 20 racing based romance novels. The first book by Pamela Britton came out in February with the cover showing a hunky driver from the back holding his helmet under his arm with the title written right across his buttockical...

How to Make Christmas MORE Materialistic Dec20

How to Make Christmas MORE Materialistic

The last two years, I wrote two articles about how to make Christmas less materialistic. This year, I discovered I was wrong. What we need is a MORE materialistic Christmas. Who cares about being thankful for what you have? Didn’t you just buy a bunch of stuff you didn’t really need on Black Friday? Think about it. What made you happier? That new HD-TV that displays 8 quazillions more colors than your previous one or seeing Aunt Dorothy at Thanksgiving dinner? So, here’s how to make Christmas even more materialistic. C’mon, that’s what the true spirit of Christmas is about: 1.- Buy presents. LOTS of presents....

Today We Grieve Nov14

Today We Grieve

We, at Unhinged Magazine, decided to postpone our usual weekly humor piece due to the tragic events that happened in Paris. We realize that there will be consequences of these acts, and that other tragedies are happening around the world. That doesn’t lessen the pain that Paris people...

Je suis Charlie Jan10

Je suis Charlie

At Unhinged Magazine, we sympathize with the victims of the attacks at the offices of the French satirical newspaper Charlie Hebdo. We strongly condemn the attacks and we support resistance to threats against freedom of expression. There is no laughter today at Unhinged Magazine....

Unhinged Dancer Nov09

Unhinged Dancer

Congrats from Austin Powers Aug04

Congrats from Austin...

Unhinged Magazine Born Four Years Post Mature Jul24

Unhinged Magazine Born Four Years Post Mature

It looks just like you! Some projects have short gestation periods, mere months. Some take for-freakin-ever. Unhinged Magazine is one of those super slow beasts. It took over four years from concept to execution. Initially planned for a 2009 launch, here we are launching in 2013 after an economic collapse, a job loss, a divorce, an international move, learning a new language, and four books (both his and hers). Finally we can have FUN which was the whole point to begin with. And because Unhinged Magazine is a community effort, we´d like to thank those patient souls who helped us along the way, and were friends even when we were being flaky,...