Tweaking Language Mar04

Tweaking Language

This week, I learned that apparently a cartoon series for girls is racist, that there was a war on Wikipedia about the gender of Garfield, and that Cardiff Metropolitan University banned words such as manpower and girls. This trend is going to continue. So, I’ve decided to help universities, writers, movie makers, and other creators make some more changes to the language and some titles of known works in order to avoid offending someone’s feelings. And if you’re one of them reading this, you’re welcome. I’ve even put them into nice little categories for easy classification: Everyday Phrases An arm and a leg...

Robbie Gruder’s Review of “What a Girl Wants”...

My American Lit prof is one of those braniac guys, even though he’s only like two years older than me and is always saying stuff like, “Even fiction is fiction,” which is hard for me to get, because what else could it be? But I think it actually makes sense, because he’s a postmodernist. And some other post something I can’t exactly remember. And he’s pretty skinny, and his skin’s so pale it reminds me of cookie-dough ice cream—it’s what some of my friends call a library tan. But one of the things I wrote down in my notes is there’s no significant division between so-called “high” art and “low” art (which surprised me because at first I...

How Hollywood Thinks the Universe Works Aug12

How Hollywood Thinks the Universe Works

Hollywood is not the place where you go for realism. Still, there are some things that you see in movies that make you wonder if specific types of physical, sociological, or psychological rules exist that apply to all movies. If there are, I think they would go like this. 1.- You can outrun any explosion. 2.- Women in bed make every effort to cover their breasts, even if they are by themselves. 3.- One in a million chances happen nine times out of ten. 4.- Obscenely gorgeous women have trouble getting dates. 5.- 99% of soldiers in any professional army can’t hit a human-sized target, even at close range, even if several of them are...

Animals Seeking Fame Steal Movie Equipment Dec28

Animals Seeking Fame...

In a series of shocking criminal acts, animals driven by lust for Hollywood fame and fortune have been stealing filmmaking gear from innocent tourists around the world. Despite their heartless actions, these predatory movie makers have won huge audiences on Youtube and Vimeo.com. According to...