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We Are Unhinged

Life is Tough  |  Loosen Up

Just because our economy is in tatters, our homes are foreclosed, our bailouts have bailed, our climate is toast and we work for bosses who are more clueless than we are (if we have a job at all), is that any reason to freak out?

Of course it is!

But at least we have each other. So, if you’ll hold on to me, I’ll hold on to you, and we can gnash our teeth, or whatever obsessive-compulsive thing you do when you’re scared shitless.

Welcome to Unhinged Magazine, where like it or not, we’re all in this together. Usually we laugh about it. Sometimes we cry. But for sure we talk about it. At least we try.

Unhinged is

  • Knowing that someone somewhere is breeding a legless chicken because dark meat is bad for you.
  • When there’s demand for turning heating pads into home defibrillators.
  • When you can’t afford to replace the shit that breaks so you start knitting things like hot water heaters and transmissions out of copper scrap.
  • You’ve gained so much weight you need to be upholstered to avoid complete nudity.
  • When the cable shows up two hours early so you miss yoga, and the asshole doesn’t even make a pass at you.
  • Your babysitter starts asking for hazard pay.
  • You’ve spent weeks perfecting the art of making any food look like Spiderman. Just when the kids eat it, Batman IX is released.
  • Being the only couple not invited over to the swingers’ house.
  • Being invited to the swingers’ house.
  • The chickens that lay the eggs you buy have a better life than you.
  • Wearing stilettos so you can attract a man and breaking a heel running away from the drunken bastard.
  • Wearing stilettos so you can attract a man which works until he realizes you’re one too.
  • Trying to run away from a 250-pound man wearing stilettos.
  • Finding out your husband cheated on you.
  • Finding out your husband cheated on you with a man.
  • Having to produce proof of insurance while in labor, in the middle of cardiac arrest, or with a severed limb.
  • The hospital contacts your insurance company before next of kin.
  • Your next of kin is also your life insurance beneficiary.
  • When the company that makes electronic timers is also the company that warranties your car.

Unhinged is theater of the absurd and you’re the star. It’s the chance to laugh, laugh with, and be laughed at, because you are not alone, you may be unhinged, but dammit you’re still here and we’re here too! Let us guide you through an addictive path of fun altered reality that will save your Prozac budget for other things, like booze.

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